Confessions of a Coffee Addict

I started drinking coffee when i was in college, whenever i study in the early morning hours I always have my mug with coffee in it. I would sit back, relax and smell the delicious sweet aroma of my beloved coffee, yes laugh all you want, but i was in love with coffee or let’s just say “ADDICTED” to it. I can’t be my normal self when I can’t have my coffee, okay let’s face it, I am cranky during morning (duh!) i am not a morning person, never was. I usually consumed 5 or 6 packets of coffee in a day, imagine me drinking that much caffeine which is never good for the body, at that time I was too stubborn to think about my health. I kept on with my coffee drinking until my father advise me to cut some slack on it, I never listened to him….

One day I was at work, I just finished drinking my 3rd mug of coffee, I can feel my heart rate speed up (it’s like my heart would jumped out from my ribs, lol) and I thought it’s okay, it’s just the caffeine. Later on, I had diarrhea (lol, I was at work and i kept going to the comfort room…grrrr!) and I thought it was the food I ate. Later in the evening, I had a headache, I thought maybe it’s my PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome) but again i’m wrong. The next morning, I found out some red bumps on my legs, I was really troubled now. I keep on thinking and trying to figure out my allergies for how many years what could have cause this, then it all came to me, it was the COFFEE. Because of my scars from the allergy, I never wear a skirt again, afraid to show my legs to a lot of people (ha! never! only a few can see it) and can never drink coffee T_T.

I ended my long term relationship with my beloved coffee last year, I miss coffee (waaaahhhh!). Whenever my officemates drink coffee, I go near their station, stand beside them and take a sniff of that sweet delicious smell… aaaahhhh! If only i can drink coffee again, I would savor the taste, treasure and love it….lol, laugh all you want but that’s the way I feel about COFFEE and as what Drew Sirtors said “Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with.” I, the COFFEE ADDICT, can’t even take a sip of coffee while I have to watch people drinking and enjoying their coffee, this is ABSTINENCE, this is TORTURE but I have to do this for the sake of my health and what’s good for me. So here I am, living a healthy lifestyle making up of the things I’ve done and refrain from doing bad for my health.

sinful tongue

In our everyday life, we can’t help and avoid using our tongue in speaking, and sometimes we use it to hurt, lie, flatter, boast, backbite and etc. I do admit I have sinned and misuse my tongue to the extent of hurting other people, I am not perfect and I have sinned against God. I admit I had a very bad temper before and my father always stated to me “Think twice before you speak once,” I have learned from him and it did do some good things on me and in my life. As what I have learned from the Bible (James 3: 7-8) “For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.” It was also indicated in the Bible that a person’s character can be judged by the way they use their tongue. I do believe in proverbs and learnings from the Bible but you cannot judge the person why he is like that because every person has a story behind it. If you think about it, if you let loose of your tongue and do misuse it, it can cause damage to others and it will hurt them. It is better to tame your tongue from saying such hurting words and think what you say first so as not to hurt anyone.

There are different kinds of tongues in the Bible:

FLATTERING TONGUE (Psalm 5:9)
“For there is no faithfulness in their mouth; their inward part is very wickedness; their throat is an open sepulchre; they flatter with their tongue.”

PROUD TONGUE (Psalm 12:3-4)
“The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaketh proud things: Who have said, With our tongue will we prevail; our lips are our own: who is lord over us?”

LYING TONGUE (Psalm 109:2; Prov. 6:17)
“For they have opened the wicked and deceitful mouth against me; They have spoken against me with a lying tongue.”
“Haughty eyes, a lying tongue, And hands that shed innocent blood”

DECEITFUL TONGUE (Psalm 120:2)
“Deliver my soul, O LORD, from lying lips, from a deceitful tongue.”

PERVERTED TONGUE (Prov. 10:31; 17:20)
“The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom, but the perverted tongue will be cut out.”
“He who has a crooked mind finds no good, and he who is perverted in his language falls into evil.”

SOOTHING TONGUE (Prov. 15:4)
“To give prudence to the naive, To the youth knowledge and discretion”

HEALING TONGUE (Prov. 12:18)
“There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.”

DESTRUCTIVE TONGUE (Prov. 17:4)
“An evildoer listens to wicked lips; A liar pays attention to a destructive tongue.”

MISCHIEVOUS AND WICKED TONGUE (Psalm 10:7)
“His mouth is full of curses and deceit and oppression; Under his tongue is mischief and wickedness.”

SOFT TONGUE (Prov. 25:15)
“By forbearance a ruler may be persuaded, And a soft tongue breaks the bone.”

BACKBITING TONGUE (Prov. 25:23)
“The north wind brings forth rain, And a backbiting tongue, an angry countenance.”

Nowadays people curse, mock and lie when face with their adversary/enemies, thus provoking that person into anger and not resolving the problem. It is better to watch our tongue, control and tame it to avoid hurting people. Thus listening is better than talking nonsense words, if you want to talk, talk with some sense and respect to whom you are talking to. Using profane and vulgar words should be minimize at all cost, at what James 3:6 stated “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.”

Taming the tongue itself is hard, but by practicing little by little we might be able to have a better personality and peaceful society. We should set an example to teenagers and to others, we don’t do it by just talking but through our actions. Start today and remember what 1 Peter 3:9-11 “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. For whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. He must turn from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it.”

grandma

I was reminiscing the past
And remembering the times
We spent together
It always bring smile to my face.
Your love is so vast
You give your all, at times
I would think altogether
I am grateful to have your grace.

You taught me everything
And the values you’ve instilled in me
You brought me up like your own
Loving me in your own way.
You offered me anything
And I’m thankful for what you’ve given me
Now that I am grown
I wish and pray
For your health each passing day.

Grandma dear, you have played
A very special part in my life
I remember your goodness and your values
Sometimes I can be stubborn,
Make mistakes with my decisions
But if I stumble on a rocky path
I will stand up and think of you
As my pillar of strength.
You took care of me when I was a child
Now, it’s my turn to take care of you
As my undying loyalty and devotion.

I can’t get enough of this song, I love the lyrics and I would like to share this to everybody. It’s such a nice song…

“This I Promise You”
by: Ronan Keating

My love, here I stand before you
I am yours now from this moment on
Take my hand, only you can stop me shaking
We’ll share forever, this I promise you

[Chorus]
And when I look in your eyes
All of my life is before me
And I’m not running anymore
‘Cause I already know I’m home
With every beat of my heart
I’ll give you my love completely
My darling, this I promise you

My love, I can feel your heartbeat
As we dance now closer than before
Don’t let go, ’cause I could almost cry now
This is forever, I make this vow to you

[Repeat chorus]

My darling, this I promise you
My darling, this I promise you

I waited patiently
for you to recover,
I gave you time
to heal your wounds,
I lend you my ears
to unburden your sorrows,
I offered you laughter
to make you smile,
I hold your hand
to be your friend,
I am sorry that
my friend hurt you
If only I can ease your pain
and soothe your broken heart,
If only I can mend it
and put it back together
piece by piece.
I can’t say I know how you feel,
But I can feel your sadness
And know what you’ve been through.
Don’t worry, my dear
You’ll never get lonely,
I’ll be here beside you
to hold your hand,
give you my time,
lend you my ears,
offer you laughter,
and be your friend.
Smile with me,
cry with me,
share your thoughts,
your goals and dreams.
I’ll be here
beside you,
as your friend.

- Chubby

I see thine image through my tears tonight
By
Elizabeth Barrett Browning

I see thine image through my tears to-night,
And yet to-day I saw thee smiling. How
Refer the cause?–Beloved, is it thou
Or I, who makes me sad? The acolyte
Amid the chanted joy and thankful rite
May so fall flat, with pale insensate brow,
On the altar-stair. I hear thy voice and vow,
Perplexed, uncertain, since thou art out of sight,
As he, in his swooning ears, the choir’s amen.
Beloved, dost thou love? or did I see all
The glory as I dreamed, and fainted when
Too vehement light dilated my ideal,
For my soul’s eyes? Will that light come again,
As now these tears come–falling hot and real?

————————————————————–

I’ll be your sister and friend
By
Chubby

Past few days was like a whirlwind,
I tried to stay calm and grounded,
But in the end, I was left wounded,
By the aftermath of liking you too damn much,
I know now how you feel towards me,
The earlier, the better for me to unwind,
I am left with a shell of emptiness,
I thought I could believe myself in love again,
But again, I was wrong…
Don’t worry, I’ll stay beside you
I will still be your ’sister and friend’.

July 19, 2008 – I went to our office earlier than I expected, let’s just say i am excited to go to the office nowadays, *wink* if someone would ask me why i am early, i would say “figure it out” and smile mysteriously. I was updating my clients tasks minding my own business and totally focused on my work when “HD” suddenly IM me. My reaction? Surprise, hmm.. why IM me, he sent me a message that our BB’s would like to talk to us, one by one for 10 mins. Duh? I freeze up, I was scared to talk to the BB’s, I ask HD what topic are we going to talk, HD answered anything. I was figuring out what were the possible questions that will be thrown at me, when CY told me that she’s having palpitations and sweating palms by thinking about the one on one with the BB’s. I told her it’s okay, we can do this and reassure ourselves there will be no problem answering the BB’s questions. When it was my turn to go inside the conference room, HD introduced me to the BB’s while shaking hands with them. I sat down immediately on the chair that was offered but to my utter shame I halfway fell down on it. Luckily, I held on to the armchair to prevent myself from falling into the floor. The BB’s cracked a joke about the chair flying, and I laughed, I was thinking, if there is laughter the interview would be a piece of cake. The interview was okay, I survive. CY told me later that HD was laughing because of me, HD saw me falling halfway down the chair. Grrr…. how embarrassing, but later on I realized it’s okay it happened to me since I made him laugh, i love to see him smile since for the past few days I rarely saw him smiling. *aaawwww* how sweet! char! hahahah…. After we had our 1 on 1 interviews we took pictures… yehey! I got 1 picture together with HD, hahahaha (naka dare gud ko). After the BB’s left together with HD, we took pictures again, i laughed so hard because everybody was running everywhere to have their pictures taken. What a night, people were in high spirits and everybody were laughing. I love hearing and seeing them laugh, it makes my day a special one. I can’t wait for the pictures to be posted, I would definitely be expecting it.

July 17, 2008 – Yehey! Friday is fast approaching, i can’t hardly wait to get back to my NORMAL self! It’s been awhile i’ve crack some jokes, tease my officemates to death and laugh. I’ve been pretty serious for the last few days, been busy with my client’s tasks (grrr… ) and I never had the chance to open my mouth, what i mean is to talk with my officemates and swap stories with them. To add up with my worries, the BB’s of our company was visiting the premises and we were asked to dress up (smart casual), boohoohoo!!! T_T Tell the truth, I hate dressing up and looking pretty (just kidding!), just to let you know readers, I like to be comfortable with what I wear. I find it amusing when the BB’s comes to the office, there’s complete SILENCE and I was asking myself “Can I last for 1 week to keep my mouth shut?” I hope I can, lol. To keep me SANE for the past few days and NOT going CRAZY of total SILENCE was “HD”, just by catching a glimpse of him, I can reassure myself, I can DO this! If he can hear my thoughts, maybe he will definitely advice me to go to the looney bin!!! lol. I do have some crazy thoughts like doing “Ice Breakers” and singing “My toes, my knees… ” with BB’s shocking faces just for the heck of it, call me crazy but that’s the way I am. OMG, it almost 6 in the morning, this is not good, have to sleep now… lol, well I just have to think of “Happy Thoughts“, one more day to go!

June 15, 2008

Today, I arrived late to our Team Meeting at Vanilla Networks, though 3 persons were not there, still the agenda of the meeting push through. We discuss about the company’s policy, attendance, dress code, and etc. After the meeting, we all went to Metro, Ayala to pass the time and took a break at Metro Cafe to chat and relax for awhile. The group decided to have an early dinner at Neo-Neo near Carmelite Monastery. We proceed at Gimik, Mango to sing karaoke and have fun. Sai, Marih, Niño, Rexy and Gail joined us late, enjoyed the company and had fun. I sang a few songs and danced, my stomach was hurting too much for laughing out loud because of my friends antics and jokes (especially Sky, Sen and Jecy). What an amazing night, just clean fun and singing all night and to let you know we took a lot of pictures (be it stolen shot or not). We all went home at 10:15 because some of us have to be on duty tomorrow morning. I went home satisfied and sated.